I wrote this out a couple of weeks after Elsie was born because I wanted to remember the details of her birth. And now I will post it here so it doesn't just get lost on the computer somewhere.... But as a note to those who read my blog - I get into physical details here so I can remember them (and I know that other women like to know this stuff) so if you don't want to hear that stuff, maybe don't read it...
Saturday, May 21
Saturday was city wide garage sale day in New Prague. Matthew and I had been planning on going for a while to get baby stuff and house stuff…..but it was an icky morning. It was grey skies and sprinkly rain. We went back and forth for a while about whether we should go or not and finally decided to. We got about 5 outfits for our little baby on the way. We went for gender neutral as much as possible but most of them were kind of boyish.
Got back home and Matthew started painting the bathroom – it is something that I had been nagging him about for a while – I had told him that of the things that I wanted accomplished before the baby came, that was the last major one. Angie came over and we headed to Star Nails for our mani and pedi appointments. Matthew had gotten me a gift card for my birthday and wanted me to use it in May toward the end of the pregnancy. I almost didn’t go because Ashley and Stacy had told me the night before at Kristin’s wedding that it may be best to avoid the toxins. Matthew also joked that getting your feet rubbed may put you into labor. I went and the pedicure especially was the perfect, most relaxing thing for my swollen feet and ankles.
Went back home, had a snack, and waited out the time until we would go over to Mom and Dad’s for Andrew’s 21st birthday dinner. I spent some time reading from the Mayo Clinic book, starting to prepare for what labor might be like.
We got to Mom and Dad's around 5 and I was really hungry from not eating a whole lot throughout the day. I immediately ate a doughnut and started snacking on vegetables and dip. Once we had dinner, I ate 2 platefuls of grilled chicken, cheesy potatoes, salad, fruit and veggies. We went out and relaxed in the living room for a while before having birthday cake. I ate a large piece of dairy queen cake and literally right after I ate the last bite and handed the plate over, I suddenly felt a gush of liquid come on. I went to the bathroom immediately and noticed that discharge or something had come through and wet my pants. There was like a circle the size of a CD maybe smaller in my pants. I went out and got my cell phone and went downstairs. At like 6:50, I texted Matthew to come downstairs. He saw the spot and we both thought it was significant but since I’ve had liquidy discharge before, we thought it might be nothing. Angie came down and gave me new pants and underwear. Right after I got cleaned up, I started to feel another small gush, and cleaned that up and put in lining. Went back upstairs and sat down. At this point, people were passing the phone around to talk to Matt. They gave me the phone and I walked to the sunroom, as I walked I was experiencing a bad menstrual cramp. I sat and talked to him and told him I just wasn’t feeling very well from eating too much (at this point I was really paranoid that if this was real labor, I would puke up all that food). Lost connection with him and walked back to the living room = menstrual cramp. Walk back to porch=menstrual cramp, living room=menstrual cramp. Went to the bathroom and had wet through the toilet paper. Typing this out now, I am quite surprised that Matthew and I were continuing to question all night whether I was in labor. After wetting another tp and continuing to have the wave like menstrual cramps, I started timing. I sat in the living room with everyone and just waited out the contractions as they came. Some of Andrew’s friends came over and were sitting with us as well. Matthew was supposed to go out with them for Andrew’s bday. The contractions were coming 5 minutes apart and were 45 seconds to 1 minute long each. I initially told Matthew that he should drive separately to the bar in case this was real labor and we needed to go to the hospital. I went to the bathroom and had wet through another tp – meanwhile everyone left and Matthew said he would meet them there. When I came out, I said I didn’t think he should go at all and that we needed to do something like maybe call the hospital. We told my parents and sister what was going on and left to go home. I was kind of in panic mode at this point because subconsciously I knew it was labor. Suddenly everything went into overdrive.
We got home and I had to call Angie over to bring my purse and cell phone because I had forgotten them in the rush to get out. Meanwhile, the contractions kept coming and coming and we weren’t timing them anymore because we couldn’t stay on top of everything. Matthew started calling the hospital and was transferred all over the place until reaching labor and delivery. I talked to the nurse there and explained what was happening. She said that we should come in but that we could take our time and pack our bags and such. Angie stayed to pack the bag with Matthew. During this time I was also having loose stools over and over and so my bottom really hurt. I took a shower to get things all cleaned up. WE finished throwing stuff in a bag and left. During this time at home, I would say the contractions were about a minute long, and about 3 minutes apart.
We arrived at the hospital and were still somehow in denial mode. After we parked, Matthew didn’t want to bring anything in to the hospital just for the fact that it would be embarrassing to carry it all back out when they told us this was nothing. I told him to at least bring my bag of stuff. We took the slow walk up to labor and delivery while I stopped for a contraction or two. Got to the room and started the check in process. I changed into my gown and everything and the nurse checked me. She said I was between 2-3 cm dialated. I think it was 9:00? Everything is blurry from this point on. She was going to do the amniotic fluid test to make sure my water broke but she decided not to – saying it was obvious I was in labor at this point. I laid in bed and the contractions kept coming. They were getting much more painful but I think the worst part was taking them lying down. The nurse would come in and ask questions to continue checking me in and I would answer sometimes but mostly just ignored her because I had to concentrate through the pain. The doctor arrived and checked me at some point and I was at a 4 she could stretch to a 5. She said see you in the morning when you have this baby and left. Then, people were coming in to take my blood so I could get a platelet count to see if an epidural was an option. I don’t like getting my blood taken and the thought of having a contraction at the same time freaked me out. She was just about to take it when a contraction came on – I told her and she waited – then got in and did it right after. She was good. It was maybe half hour later and another girl comes in to take blood. Again, I asked her to wait because right when she was about to start, I had a contraction. Then she popped back over the vessel and was piddling around in my arm forever. She couldn’t get the vessel to react or something. This caused my anxiety to go way high. I asked her to please stop because I was having a contraction and luckily she got it on the next time. They came in and told me my platelets were like 120 or something so epidural was an option to consider. I talked to Matthew and was like yeah, I want that. He was questioning me and I was just like stop – I am getting the epidural. So then they told the anesthesia person or whatever. I had to go to the bathroom or something so I went to the toilet. The nurse said I could pee but whatever I do, don’t have a bowel movement because I am not supposed to bare down yet. So I sat there and went through 2 contractions while trying to pee but couldn’t do it without pushing out my poo too...so no peeing. The contractions were actually much easier for me to take while sitting up on the toilet then laying down in the bed. So I went in the room and sat on the edge of the bed, having the contractions. Matthew also started pushing on my lower back during them which also helped a lot. In hindsight, I would have done much better and made it longer without the epi if we had been doing different things to help get through them. The epidural guy arrived around midnight and gave me the epidural which was quick. I was worried I would move too much because of contractions but all went fine. I laid back in bed afterward and the contractions were lightening each time. The nurse checked me and said I was at a 6 at this point. From then on, I could only feel the contractions on the right side and they just felt like very mild menstrual cramps or sometimes it just felt like the baby was pushing on my side. (so maybe I had more pre-labor Braxton hicks then I thought and thought it was just the baby?) I was so amazed at the night and day difference of it all. I went from constant pain and/or anxiety and frantic breathing to complete and total relaxation.
Sunday, May 22
Matthew could finally leave my side and went out to get our other stuff. By the time all of the fiddling was done and the nurse asked all the questions – it was about 1:00 in the morning. The room was finally empty with just Matthew and I and I turned to him and was like omg we are having a baby tonight. He was like yeah, you should get some rest now because by the time morning comes, there will be a lot of work to do. I slept pretty decent until like 2ish and then was in and out of sleep and also would wake when the nurse came in to do stuff. At almost 3 exactly the nurse came back in and said she would check me again – with the hopes of going a cm an hour, we were hoping for at least an 8. She stuck her hands in there and said nothing, than said “hmmmm” and my immediate thought was crap, I haven’t progressed. Then finally said I was 100% dialated and effaced and ready to have the baby. I was like omg omg omg. I just didn’t feel ready at all. She asked if I had had the urge to push at all yet which would feel like a bowel movement and I said no, I hadn’t. She thought that I should continue to sit for a while until that urge came on and she called the doc to get the plan. The doc came not 15 minutes later and confirmed that I was ready to go and said we would start pushing. Pushing commenced at 3:25. She told me I would definitely have the baby by 5:25. The first while of pushing felt like nothing. I barely felt the contractions come on and didn’t feel like I was doing anything when I pushed. The doc said I could have the epidural turned down if I wanted and I did. After that happened, I felt the contractions come on consistently but it wasn’t until later that I truly felt the urge to push. Which is what makes me wonder if things would have gone more smoothly if we had waited until I had that urge. About 45 minutes into pushing or so, and everyone was seeing the head. The doctor explained that on one of these next contractions, I would crown and the babies head would remain there between contractions. She said once I crowned, I would deliver the baby within the next few contractions. Typing this, I can feel the high of thinking the baby would arrive any minute. It was like 4:15 and everyone kept saying it was truly just around the corner and the baby was on its way. The nurses were behind the curtain for a minute and one said they through the baby would arrive at like 4:30 and the other at like 4:37 or something. Matthew guessed 5:04. Then everyone joked and was like no way that is happening that late and prove him worng and yadda yadda. When it started to approach 5:00, I got a little panicky that nothing was seeming to change. It was around this time and after that I felt constant pressure below, not only when I was pushing and having contractions. The pressure started to build and build into intense pain. It literally felt like there was a baby (or big bowling ball) stuck in my vag that needed to come out. I felt a constant urge to push and it was hard to wait it out between contractions and it was getting hard for me to have steady breathing. The doctor had Matthew hold oxygen by me to make sure the baby was getting enough. This irritated me and I was always pushing it away. Maybe at around 5:15, I was really frustrated and was like “am I crowning yet?!” When they said no, I kind of went into panic mode and was afraid the baby would never come out. The next 15-20 minutes were a blur of me desperately wanting it to be over with, being in complete and utter exhaustion, and using every little ounce of energy I had left to push the baby out. I was screaming during pushes and gasping for air. Desperation really is the best word for it. I knew the baby really might be coming soon because I could feel it was right there which was painful for me. Next thing I know, on one of my pushes I felt the head pop out and immediately following were the wriggly arms and legs. My body just hit the bed in exhaustion and my first words were something to the effect of --- oh my god, thank god, thank god, it is out of me, I feel so relieved. My eyes were closed when they brought the baby on me and I opened them up and was like oh my god, oh my god again – I was just in amazement of this thing living in me and coming out of me. I asked what it was and the nurse lifted the leg and said it was a girl – I said “what?!” and she repeated herself. I looked at her for a little bit and then they brought her over to get apgar scores. The doctor immediately started stitching me then and I was so thankful to lay there and relax. Two things that happened at the end of labor that I was barely aware of were her giving me anesthesia and doing the episotomy and her using the vacuum at the end. I didn’t know she was doing this but I guess she did it on the last 2 contractions. The baby was born at 5:30 am. The doc finished her stitching and Matthew stood by the nurses doing the apgar scores. Right after stitching, I birthed the placenta which I also proclaimed felt so relieving and then I also pushed out a large clot which also was quite relieving. The overwhelming feeling at this point was physical relief and then thanks that our little baby girl had arrived. I was asking if she was safe and healthy and they said yes so I was happy. They did what they needed to do and brought her back for me to hold her and I just stared at her. It was just Matthew and I in the room with her then and Matthew was crying. He said he was just so overwhelmed. It was a happy moment to be with my little family.
While the nurses were still in the room, I heard one ask Matthew if we had a name picked out. He said he was pretty confidant on what her name was but had to talk to me first. When they left, I asked him what the name he had in mind was and he answered, "Elsie".
And that is how Elsie Ann entered our lives.
