I woke up
December 3rd and had the 3rd "show". That's when I started
to increasingly feel like it was the day I would be having the baby, mostly
because of how big of a show the show was and because I had been having sporadic contractions that felt
more like cramps. I acknowledged to
myself multiple times that I thought today was the day but then would quickly
try and forget about it. I actually
packed up my hospital bag that morning and talked to Matthew about it. He tried to remind me that it could still be
5 days from now and so I took that mentality with me through the day, that I
didn’t know what was going to happen.
Weather wise,
it was a beautiful day, sunny, in the 50s, no need to wear a coat.
At work, I
had a pretty light schedule for the day.
I had to be at Head Start from 10-11:30, again from 12:00-1:10, and then
a home visit from 1:20-2:20. The rest of
the day was desk time. Part way through
the morning, I found out the mid-day class was cancelled and I wouldn’t have to
go to Head Start from 12-1:10, so it lightened up even more.
During the work day, I wrote 2 update e-mails to Becca and Tara. They are edited way down to get rid of the gory details but here is the gist….
273 so far:
39 weeks pregnant - the most pregnant I have ever been! When I woke up this
morning, went to the bathroom and had more show. I've been
having very light and very sporadic bh contractions through the day, nothing
significant, a few have been a little crampy feeling. It is now 10:00 and I
have to get to head start!
273
continued: So at some point while I was at Head Start (probably about 10:45?) I
started getting the contractions that feel like menstrual cramps and have been
consistently getting them ever since. I had a home visit at 1:20
and didn't want to think too much of the contractions before that but they def
kept coming while I was there and so I cut the visit somewhat short. Since I
got back to school, I started timing to see how far apart these were and this
is where I'm at. COntractions have been at 2:18, 2:24, 2:30, 2:36, and 2:41.
They are all wave like menstrual cramp feeling contractions and not the
tightening belly bh ones. The ones at 2:18 and 2:36 were painful enough that I
had to stop what I was doing and breath through them a little bit. Luckily I am
now at the school for the rest of the day and won't have any more home or preschool
visits today. 2:47 and I am starting the next one.....
I had to work
until 4 and really wanted to get one last piece of paperwork finished for the
day, because it is something that the next teacher would have to re-do if I
couldn’t get it done. So I tried to
hurry with that and kept thinking I might have to leave work a little early. I continued to have contractions 5-6 minutes
apart from the start of one to the start of the next. In hindsight, was I supposed to be timing
from the end of one to the start of the next?
Anyway, by the time I got my paperwork done, talked to a couple teachers
who came in to talk to me, and organized a few things, it was 4:00, so I stayed
for a full day and left right on the button.
Right before I left, one co-worker came in to talk to me and ask if I
was getting everything done in time for the baby. I really couldn’t chat and didn’t want to
have a contraction while talking to her because of how painful they were, so I
admitted that I thought I would have the baby that night. She made sure I thought it was ok to drive,
wished me luck, and I was off. Standing
up and walking made the contractions come on really quick. So when I started leaving the classroom, I
had one, stayed out for a minute, then walking down the hall, I had another one
and stopped in the bathroom to finish it out and go to the bathroom. As soon as I got out to my car, I had another
one. I started questioning my decision
to drive home because of that frequency and decided I would stay in town if they
kept up like that. However, once I was
in the car driving, they went back to the 5-6 minute breaks in between. Driving while contracting was a little scary
but not horrible.
Once I got
home (about 4:30), the contractions went through their little spurts again as I
walked into the house. I ducked into the
bathroom each time to finish them out, then walked to the stairs and had to sit
down and have another one. I had talked to
my mom so she arrived to watch Elsie. I
went upstairs and Matthew came up so we could make a plan. I said we either needed to leave right then
and call the hospital or I would stay and take a bath and we would take our
time a little bit. I wanted to go
through as much labor as I could at home but also not have the baby in the car! He said just to go with the bath. So I made a nice hot bath and labored in there
for a little while. At this point, it
really really helped the contractions.
The contractions were definitely feeling less intense in the tub at
home. Nonetheless, I couldn’t stay too
long, and had to get out and finalize everything. Once I was out, they went back to their old
intensity and had gotten worse. Matthew
started pushing on my back during each contraction and we started timing for a
while. They were about 4 minutes between
contractions, time to go. So I called
the hospital in between contractions and let them know we would be on our
way. Went downstairs, said goodbye to Elsie and gave her kisses, waited out a few contractions, and we were
off.
On the car
ride over, we had the radio on softly and I said we could not talk. I would either be having a contraction or
working to relax my body before having the next one. A couple times, Matthew asked me if he could
say something and I would say yes or no depending on if I was in a
contraction. On the drive over, I
started playing that – I wonder how dialated I am game. I was telling myself that based on the pain,
it needed to be at least a 5 but then I said that all I really need is
progress, so they better tell me I am at least at a 3. We parked and I finished out a contraction
then we walked in. I had 3 contractions
upon walking in and I would just walking really really slow through them, this
actually felt better then when I was sitting in the car.
So we got to
the hospital around 6-6:15 and they showed us right to our room. The nurse was very on top of things and said
she needed to check me right away because 2nd labors can go
quick. She checked me and said I was
dialated to a 4, 100% effaced. Then she
said she saw on my birth plan that I was thinking I want an epidural and she
asked if I want one. I said
“probably”. The whole epidural thing has
been an undecided factor with this pregnancy just like with Elsie, so I was
trying to go through that decision process.
On one side, I was thinking, I am
only dialated to a 4 and I have some “relaxation techniques” to try and I
should probably try those before rushing to the epidural decision asap. On the other side, I was thinking, I am only
dialated to a 4, that might mean I could go through this labor for many more
hours and I can barely take this pain right now, I can’t possibly go through
this for the rest of the night.
Then, the
nurse came back with a basket full of IVs and what not and started prepping some
sort of injection. I could tell she took
my “probably” as a “yes” and was getting ready for the epidural so I asked her
what she was doing. She said she was
getting saline ready to inject, etc. So
then I told her that I just wasn’t sure that I want an epidural. So she explained the process to me and said
that I was in an active labor stage where things might go quickly. She said that before they could even order
the epidural, they needed to get me with an IV and get a bag of fluids in me
which would take at least 20 minutes and then they could order the
epidural. Meanwhile, I just keep going
through contractions, keep working to stay as calm as possible with my mind in
check, and try to figure out what to do.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed with the monitors on my belly. So then she said, we need to monitor you and
the baby for 15 more minutes, then we can unhook you and you are free to try
other pain relief techniques like maybe get in the tub. So then I said yes, I will do that. Because I was thinking about how much the tub
had helped at home and was thinking maybe it would be a similar experience at
the hospital. So after a little while, I
made my way to the tub that the nurse prepared for me. After I got to the tub and was having contractions,
they were actually feeling much worse.
Plus, the water was luke warm and not relieving in any way. All of a sudden, a flip switched in my brain
and I started telling myself how silly I was being to try to do this without an
epidural. I was trying to remind myself
of why I even wanted to do it without an epidural and every one reason just
seemed sillier than the next. So I told
Matthew that I needed to work my way out of that tub and tell the lady I needed
an epidural.
So that is
what I did and by the time I got back to the bed, she immediately started to
look for a vein to start the IV and couldn’t find one. So then the second nurse came in and was also
having a hard time. So she put multiple
straps in my arm and gave one a try.
Shot me and no luck, I just bled out.
Then she tried on the other arm and was like poking around with the
needle, chasing after the vein for about a minute until she found one. So then they started pumping in the fluids. Meanwhile, Matthew and I went back to the
system where he pushed on my back whenever I had a contraction. I’m not sure if the pushing helped at all or
that I just liked knowing that Matthew was there with me during each
contraction, helping me through. At this
point, there was no “break” in between contractions. I just went from immense pain to tense pain,
back and forth. I also started feeling
somewhat sick, I think because I hadn’t ate since lunch. From the level of pain I was in, I knew I had
progressed farther into labor then I had with Elsie when I had the
epidural. With Elsie I was at a 6 when I got the epidural, and
the thought of being past a 6 made me realize that they might not be able to
get the epidural in me and that scared the crap out of me. I was scared to acknowledge that there were
levels of pain beyond the level of pain I was in. So I just started questioning, where was the
epidural, etc. She said that he would probably be about 10 more minutes. Then I asked how long until it took away pain
and she said about 10 more minutes after that. So
I’m like, I just have to think about 20 minutes and saw that it was 6:50 at
some point and that the pain would be gone shortly after 7:00. So I keep going through the contractions,
while sitting on the bed, and by this point I was kicking the bed as I went
through them and trying to make it from minute to minute. Matthew was pushing my back during one of the
contractions and suddenly my water breaks and I freaked and turned very scared
and panicky. That is when my body
entered transition. I started yelling at
Matthew to tell the nurse my water broke and from that point on, it was
somewhat of an out of body experience.
Matthew was in front of me for one of the next contractions and I
couldn’t handle it and I tried biting his arm and he ripped away from me. There were a bunch of people in there all of
a sudden, one was the anesthesiologist, and I remember thinking that I saw him
so why don’t I have any relief. I guess
they had decided that an epidural was too late but they were offering me some
other thing that would last 2 hours.
They threw a paper in my face, and I scribbled on it to sign off.
I’ve tried to
think about how to describe what the pain felt like at that point and it just
isn’t possible. I think it is because my
mind was not present enough to take it all in.
It encompassed my entire body in one form or another. It was like the pain I was in with Elsie in
the last half hour, just more intense and more desperate. So at some point I am laying on the bed so
they can check me quick and the nurse says I am at an 8, +2 station. Then I sat up and I straddled the bed,
continuously saying things like, “what should I do? I can’t do this! Tell me what to do! What should I do?” Then Matthew was like, they want you to sit
on the edge of the bed again. So I got
back in that position.
Matthew tells
me that the guy was ripping into my robe to start the medication injection when
I suddenly said I needed to push. The
doctor came in around this time, and I was back to laying on the bed, and they
threw the stirrups out and what not. The
doctor asked where I was at and the nurse said 8. The doc said, well the head is right there so
I think she can push. So she tells my
frantic self to focus on her and says “Maggie, you can do this, the baby is
right there and I think you can get her out within 3 contractions,” and I
believed her. So I just kept focusing on
breathing and getting through each second.
During the contractions, I just pushed and screamed and closed my
eyes. Then the nurse really helped
out. She told me to open my eyes and
focus on her. When I did that, she
looked like one of those things you see in movies where her facial features are
magnified. She walked me through taking
sips of water, holding my breath and pushing.
I had my labor music on through this time and at one point a song that I love (Better than Love by Griffin House) came on and I started
hearing “you will always be my girl” which made me think of the baby and hold
on to the real world some more. After
the second round of pushing, the baby’s head sat in the ring of fire and that
was a level of pain more intense then the one I was already in. But the doctor talked me through it so
well. She was like “ Maggie, I know you
are in a lot of pain but hold on and calm your breathing and you will get this
baby out in the next push.” Then she started saying how the baby was in stress
in that position so I immediately slowed my breathing to less frantic. On the next contraction I gave my pushes
everything I could and prayed that the baby would come out. The head came out on one of the pushes, the
body on another, and there she was. The
pain relief is so immediate that I almost was like “oh, that’s it?” but I can’t
say that because that is not the right way to describe it. Then they put her on my chest and I kept
saying, “hi sweetie” and that is where
she stayed and the two of us just melded and relaxed together. She kept crying off and on but would calm to
my voice and it all felt very comfy and right.
Matthew cut the cord and the doc worked on delivering the placenta and
stitching me up. I had one small tare
that she said was more cosmetic than anything.
After that was done, I breastfed for about an hour. It actually was a wonderful birthing
experience overall. When they asked the
name, we said we didn’t have one yet but Cora was the name that kept running
through my mind, I just felt like that was the baby’s name. Matthew and I would ask each other to say
which name we wanted but we both got too scared that the other would just
cave. Finally Matthew started saying, “I
think I want to do Cora because….” And I said, “that’s it, her name is
Cora”. And that is the story of how
little Cora Elizabeth entered the world!
